Wizard Undercover by Mills K. E

Author:Mills, K. E. [Mills, K. E.]
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Speculative Fiction
ISBN: 9780316120227
Publisher: Orbit
Published: 2011-10-06T06:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“Nothing suspicious about the Blonkken wedding guests? Or any of the embassy staff? Nothing at all?” Disappointed, Monk slumped in his favourite parlour armchair. “Reg, are you sure?”

Perched on the back of the sofa, the bird looked down her beak at him. “And when have you ever known me not to be sure, sunshine?”

He let the horribly loaded question slide right past them, into oblivion. “Never.”

“Then just you put a sock in it and pour me a brandy.”

Dawn was fast approaching. Though he’d not yet been to bed, it was still far too early for brandy. But the bird’s beak was looking especially pointy and anyway, he had a headache, and nothing was better for headaches than a healthy splosh of fermented peaches. It might not kill the pain, but it swiftly made sure you no longer cared that the top of your head was threatening to explode.

He poured them each a drink and they sipped in sour, contemplative silence.

“You know what this means, don’t you?” he said at last, grumpily considering the bottom of his glass. “It means I have to tell Sir Alec I haven’t saved the day for him.”

“You haven’t saved it yet,” said Reg, with a genteel, alcoholic belch. “There’s still time.”

“Not much. And every hour that passes pushes Bibbie and Melissande and Gerald an hour closer to disaster.”

Reg rattled her tail. “That’s a very glass-half-empty way of looking at the world.”

“Actually, my glass is entirely empty,” he said. “Did you want some more brandy?”

“No,” said the bird. “And neither do you. What you want is a bath and some breakfast. The Sir Alecs of this world are best confronted with a clean face and a full belly.”

She was right. Again. Drat her. So he dragged himself upstairs, bathed, shaved, found some fresh clothes, then staggered back downstairs to fortify himself with coffee and porridge. After that, with the sun risen a decent distance above the horizon, he hauled out his crystal ball and gave Sir Alec the bad news.

Sir Alec was unimpressed and said so, at length.

“Well, honestly, sunshine, what did you expect?” said Reg, strutting to and fro across the kitchen table with an irritatingly derisive look in her eye. “You’ve known him a lot longer than I have and I’m not surprised.”

Monk dumped three teaspoons of sugar into his fresh cup of coffee and stirred so hard he nearly slopped half of it over the side.

“I didn’t say I was surprised.”

“Yes, you did,” Reg retorted. “Not five seconds ago. You said, and I quote, That miserable bastard! I don’t believe it!”

Aggrieved all over again, he thumped his fist to the bench beside the sink. “Yes! Precisely! I’m disbelieving, not surprised! Honestly, to hear him talk you’d think I didn’t give a toss about Gerald and Bibbie and Melissande!”

“Well …” Reg stopped strutting and scratched the side of her head. “To be honest, ducky, I think you’re wrong there. Don’t misunderstand me, I wouldn’t trust that sarky bugger as far as I could

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